How to Pray When You Feel Abandoned By God
It’s Time to Stop Begging for God’s Help When You’ve Exhausted All Other Options, Instead of Praying for His Guidance Before Making Key Life Decision
Most of the time, it’s you. That’s my ice breaker, because it’s the truth.
Let me guess, you’re desperate— you finally decided to ask the Lord to help you in your situation because you just can’t take it anymore. You don’t know what else to do, and this is the problem. That “what else.” part, that tapping-God-in-as-a-last-resort thing you always do. Like, only inviting Him to your party after you’ve invited Satan and the rest of the enemy team. It’s not gonna cut it in this next season that you’re moving into, my friend.
See, the Most High was your last resort when He wanted to be first on your mind. But what did you do? You led yourself right into a confusing, traumatic, or even dangerous situation that crying yourself to sleep at night won’t solve. And then, only then, did you ask God for His thoughts. And it’s because you need a miracle like… yesterday.
Thankfully, we serve a right now God. But this cycle of making decisions without Him and then demanding that He bails you out? It stops now. You’re done, my friend. That’s the last time you’re gonna take advantage of the grace and mercy of Yahuah because it’s time you mature in your walk with Him.
It’s time you grow up.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Prayer: The Least Talked About Piece of Armor in the Full Armor of God
The Price of Living in Perpetual Sin— A Cautionary Tale for Lukewarm Christians
The Sound of Silence: Here's How You Should Pray If You Feel Ignored by God
Introducing the Spirit of Delilah: The Spirit of Self-Sabotage & Sinful Desires
What's to Come: A Step-by-Step Guide Through Repentance PrayerPrayer: The Least Talked About Piece of Armor in the Full Armor of God
I know I painted a brutal picture, calling you immature and all, but the cookie cutter, sugar coated sermons on repentance have so far done nothing for you, so I had to put it to you so that you cut out the nonsense. 🤷🏾♀️ Those sermons? They don’t mention you’re stuck in a cycle with demons who make you the butt of their jokes as they grab an afternoon coffee… on your tab. No, you’ve been played like a fiddle by a perverted grace message that you’ve believed gave you a get out of jail free card for perpetual sin— the sin you keep doing over and over, playing in God’s face because you’ll be forgiven… so you think. It’s created an open door instead, honey, a door for a cycle of sin to play on repeat in your life. And the worst part? You only care about it when you get burned by said sin. Otherwise, you’re not really sorry about what you did that got you in this saaammeee situation again and again and again…
If you’re still here after getting called out, I was just like you once upon a time. I know where you are because I’ve lived it and could have taught Lukewarm Christianity 101. 😂 I’m so serious. So I’m not judging you, no: I’m address the root of the issue so that this time, when Yahuah shows up for you? You don’t just get rescued, you have a clear blueprint on how to get set free from painful sin cycles when you notice one operating in your life.
Let’s start with some scripture:
6 “[Rather] is this not the fast which I choose,
To undo the bonds of wickedness,
To tear to pieces the ropes of the yoke,
To let the oppressed go free
And break apart every [enslaving] yoke?7 “Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry
And bring the homeless poor into the house;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not to hide yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?8 “Then your light will break out like the dawn,
And your healing (restoration, new life) will quickly spring forth;
Your righteousness will go before you [leading you to peace and prosperity],
The glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.9 “Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
You will cry for help, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away from your midst the yoke [of oppression],
The finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and [every form of] wicked (sinful, unjust) speech,10 And if you offer yourself to [assist] the hungry
And satisfy the need of the afflicted,
Then your light will rise in darkness
And your gloom will become like midday.11 “And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your soul in scorched and dry places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.12 “And your people will rebuild the ancient ruins;
You will raise up and restore the age-old foundations [of buildings that have been laid waste];
You will be called Repairer of the Breach,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.Isaiah 58:6-12 AMP
This is the roadmap to redemption, to freedom from curses, generational curses, strongholds, all of it. It’s called fasting and prayer.
See, I’ve mentioned before that in my search for the Miracle Working God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I was not only refused answers, I was labeled as rebellious and difficult by church leadership… at like, thirteen. I kid you not. 😂 See, this “label” was set up for me in catechism classes (don’t ask me why we had catechism in a non-denominational church, it beats me) because my teacher became completely frustrated with me when I continued to ask for deeper impartations of wisdom. I was sick of rehearsing David and Goliath or Daniel and the Lion’s Den over and over each week. I was done with the cutesy roleplays to entertain our parents, I needed morreeeee of Him. I needed to know how to invite that conquering, miracle working God into my current, real life situations.
For asking questions, though, I failed the classes and well… humiliated, my mother forced me to take it twice and get baptized the second go round regardless of how I felt like I wasn’t connecting with the Holy Spirit. (Yes, I could articulate that to my mother at thirteen, and there are probably some thirteen year olds around you who are more tapped into the spiritual realm than you think 👀) Instead, I was left with this nagging suspicion (now this is the immaturity in me at that age 😆) that they were hoarding this ancient secret knowledge for themselves. They knew, they just weren’t telling the children! I was so sure of it! And because my mother didn’t want me in the adult sessions — you know, regular church and not the youth ministry’s watered baby milk version — I felt like if I could just sit in the pews with the grown folks, I would find out. I would meet the same God who sent angels and could show up and make overnight millionaires out of people (Luke 1:26-38, 2 Kings 7:3-20).
It wouldn’t be until adulthood, after a radical season of committed repentance prayer, that I would return to my childhood church and realize they hadn’t been holding out on me… that would’ve been better, my friend. 😞 No, my former church? Unfortunately… well… man, this is uncomfortable… well— they just genuinely hadn’t know what to do to approach the Most High, be heard, and then receive an answer. And even worse? Though at one time, they’d had a dedicated deliverance ministry? They didn’t know how to spot and identify witches and their war tactics. Which cost my generation more than they would be prepared to face twenty years later… when their pews were bare, their parking lot decimated, and the children of the youth group I’d grown up with? The majority of us would go on to attempt (successfully and unsuccessfully) to end our lives.
Nearly. Every. Last. One. Of. Us.
THE PRICE OF LIVING IN PERPETUAL SIN— A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR LUKEWARM CHRISTIANS
The Most High Yahuah led me to start this series with one of my testimonies because it’s important for you to understand that this blueprint to prayer? It breaks covenants and agreements you may have, knowingly and unknowingly, with the enemy. Y’see, when my cousin and I were told by the Holy Spirit to go back to our childhood church one Tuesday afternoon, we thought we were just being sent to do a prayer walk around an empty parking lot to pray over members who would never know we were there. We didn’t expect that our former pastor, who for the sake of this article we’ll call Pastor John, would pull up next to us five minutes after we’d parked. We were still in the beginning throes of Covid, Spring of 2020, and we knew that service would be Wednesday night if they were even going to be doing anything, so we had expected to be met with an empty lot. Nooooo, oh nooooo. Not when you’re running on Yahuah’s timing. Not when you’re in the flow of the Most High.
See, we’d just come out of an intense 9 month period of repentance prayer, four months of which we’d fasted until we were told to end it. After that, the next five months had been warfare prayers— prayers to break covenants in our own family. And that fateful day, when we’d been ready to start another 2-3 hour prayer session, the Holy Spirit had guided us to the church of our youth instead.
And that is when Pastor John began pouring out all of this information about what had happened when they’d first founded the church and established it.
You may be in this cycle that you’ve been in (for far too long, might I add) because of things that happened before you were born, my friend. Have you ever noticed whether or not the same sin you keep falling in, your uncles did? Or maybe all the men in your mother’s family are alcoholics? Maybe you can’t help telling those little white lies and you have memories of your father doing it, and he didn’t even know why he told them either. You brush it off, when you get older, as low self esteem but… why was your grandfather a pathological liar? No, sometimes these cycles are juusssttt a little bit deeper than you. They entered the bloodline and it wasn’t your fault, but the Most High is allowing these sins to break your heart and tear up your life because He desires for you to be the curse breaker in your family line.
13 “If you turn back your foot from [unnecessary travel on] the Sabbath,
From doing your own pleasure on My holy day,
And call the Sabbath a [spiritual] delight, and the holy day of the Lord honorable,
And honor it, not going your own way
Or engaging in your own pleasure
Or speaking your own [idle] words,14 Then you will take pleasure in the Lord,
And I will make you ride on the high places of the earth,
And I will feed you with the [promised] heritage of Jacob your father;
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”Isaiah 58:13-14 AMP
You may not like this, especially if you were already tore up reading my article, The Sinister Truth Behind Why Most Christians Worship on Sunday, but uhhh… one of the reasons you may feel like you’re not hearing God is because you’re not in right standing with Him. You’re not keeping His commandments. 😐
🗣️ “BUT THE LAW IS DEAD IT DIED ON THE CROSS BLEHHH BLAHH RAWRRR!!!” Yeah, I can hear it all now… 🙄 But without going into why it’s only the Levitical laws for the priesthood that have passed away, as I already touched on that in this portion of my article called, Why God Still Holds America Accountable for Slavery (Along with Everybody Else), I need you to grasp how disobeying the Word of Yahuah gives the enemy access to enter into your life, and also, for the curses spoken against us by Yahuah, should we dishonor our covenant with Him, are allowed to go into full effect in your life.
Let me put it to you this way, when you are doing whatever the heck you want and truly believe the deception that the Old Testament laws and all that have nothing to do with you because of the Blood of Christ? You’re not even listening to Christ Himself. Yahusha told us before He left that if we love Him, we’ll keep His commandments (John 14:15). So how can those commandments be dead? If you, especially if you’re a Gentile believing this, believe that by being baptized by water and spirit and by confessing that Yahusha is the Lord of your life, that you are saved and have been grafted into the covenant He made with the Israelites? What… covenant… were you grafted into? What contract are you believing you’re now a part of? Because the covenant He made were a bunch of commandments He wanted the Israelites to obey… soooo…
By no means am I saying it’s possible to keep them all, and that’s where I think many believers get mixed up. That’s not what people who preach to keep the law are saying. The messianic grace we have is that we can go to the Father and present the Word back to Him by reminding Him that Yahusha HaMashiach paid the price for our sins, that He said His blood would cover them as the ultimate sacrifice (Romans 3:22-28). That when we happen to break our covenant or fall into error, as we are prone to do, we have the Blood to atone for us. It’s beautiful, it’s powerful, it’s good. 😌
But… what about sin you’re unaware of that’s affecting you and your family? What about covenants that your family members may have made with demons? Or that friends or people around you may have made to come against you? And more than that, what if you don’t know how to present your case to the Most High? How do you go to Him to ask Him to really take care of it and dismiss the charges against you?
That’s what I didn’t know how to articulate I’d been craving to understand as a young girl, and equipped with the knowledge from actually reading my Bible and prostrating myself before the Most High for months, my cousin and I were able to look at each other and go to work after we heard the history of our humble little church.
WHEN YOU IGNORE SIN OPERATING IN YOUR LIFE, IT CAN BEGIN TO AFFECT MORE THAN JUST YOU— IT CAN GROW TO CRIPPLE GENERATIONS OF YOUR FAMILY AND COMMUNITY
For the sake of this article, we’ll call the church Hope Missionary Apostolic Church of Christ Our Lord Jehovah Almighty God (here’s to me hoping I made it ridiculously long enough that no other church goes by that name 😂).
ANYWAYS, so Hope Missionary Etc was officially established in like the 1970s. It’d been around before then, but when Pastor John had taken over the ministry from his predecessor, rest in power, the man of God had been led to rename the church… Hope Missionary Apostolic Yadda Yadda. So OFFICIALLY, with the IRS and all that, it was now a non-denominational church and the small building that had been there would be expanded and they’d do a bit of renovation before getting the party started under the new administration.
Now Pastor John and Co well, there was a lot of field. The gigantic parking lots that we’d known as children (this was no megachurch in our day, but we had members from all around the world, it was a beautiful ministry that reached an international stage it was so great!) hadn’t been there at the time, just the one— there was one on each side of the church and still some of that field left. Etc, etc. In that back field, when the men and women of the establishing church had walked the grounds to pray over it? They’d found a demonic altar. There was a coven of witches, come to find out, that had been meeting on the church property and performing witchcraft. So well, what did the prayer warriors do? They knocked it down, plead the blood of Yahusha, and moved on.
The very next day, Pastor John recalled to us — and I mean, our eyes were FIXED on him at this point! — he’d rolled up to the church, him and his wife and company, and there’d been a message taped to the front door. The witches were offended. They’d claimed if they’d been asked, they would have moved the altar (liars, all they can do is lie, they’re the children of the father of lies 🙄) but they were hurt and felt attacked by the disregard for their religion.
Fast forward to opening day.
Here come the witches. And now, if they’d been tapped into the Lord, if they’d gone to Him and asked Him for guidance on what to do in this situation? Things would’ve ended differently. It reminds me of the covenant that Joshua and Company ran into when they made a treaty with the Gibeonites in Joshua 9. They lacked wisdom, they missed the part that Yahuah wants to be involved in every step of the process of your choices in life, not that after the fact, “Oh no, help me Lord, I messed up” mentality that brought you to this article. If our pastor had sought the Lord instead of thinking he could save some souls that day, the Lord would’ve warned him that it was a trap. Instead, the founding church members believed the witches when they said they wanted to sit in on a sermon to see what it was all about. Pastor John recalled to us that they sat like stones the whole service, like statues. And then after a while they all got up in unison, and left.
“Oh my goodness,” I gasped, my cousin’s wide eyes beating into me, because our experience with witchcraft up to that point allowed us know exactly what had happened. “They cursed the church. They were sitting there cursing the church. And you let them in.”
We wouldn’t understand the years of barrenness that would plague his daughter in her marriage. We would know that her womb had been arrested by a curse when a prophet from South Africa would fly in and speak the Word of the Most High in power to break the assignment on her bloodline. But then there would be the affair that would break the marriage of the youth pastors, only for his brother, the assistant pastor of the church, to have an affair with a woman of the same name… a name we don’t even believe was real.
And did I mention that the assistant pastor was Pastor John’s son-in-law? The one married to his once barren daughter?
The icing on the cake would be what my cousin and I would return to on that faithful Tuesday. The parking lots were full of potholes and craters, the church was in disrepair and decay. There were perhaps 20 people in the pews where the church had once been full to the brim in our youth, and the youth ministry was… I mean, there were a couple of kids there who were the grandchildren of one of the 20 attendees. And there was no official youth pastor, simply a temporary stand-in. Marcus, as we’ll call him, didn’t have a call for youth ministry. He was an anointed singer/musician, and had been a part of the choir when we were young. And honestly? When I say he was part of the choir, that’s really diminishing his role: he was an assistant music director (the pastor’s daughter being the official music director) that would go on to lead the worship team and ministry. He was no longer in position, he was substituting something else because there was no longer a choir to lead. So yeah, we had a dry bone situation with wasted gifts and talents being squandered, an absent pastor because of the previous adultery scandal, which had left Pastor John had had to come out of retirement to kinda… be there as the authority.
And just be there was what he was doing. Because during our visits to the church during this short period of time, another one of the former youth ministry kids successfully ended his own life. There was no urgency to seek God and break the assignment of death on the youth, no… there was only a desire for the pews to be full again which… isn’t at all the heart of the Most High. They wanted the numbers back, and so there was no curse breaking going on, there was only hanging on to the glory days, what had been. And as my cousin and I would bring these issues to the forefront, we would be shown the door and eventually walk out the same way we’d walked in.
But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.
Isaiah 59:2 ESV
I bring up this testimony because there was no sense of urgency to prostate themselves and seek the Most High on how to break free from the demonic assignments of the enemy. There was no going to the Most High and asking Him about the access point the enemy had, even when Pastor John had been able to tell us to our faces something that he’d just felt “led in the moment” to tell us. (Which had been the Spirit of the Most High coming upon him to give us that vital intel, by the way.) Pastor John felt a bit abandoned by God, felt like he was getting too old to continue but there was no one to continue the legacy. He was holding on to hope but… things looked bleak. And all his plans to pass the church to his son-in-law had vanished in one crippling affair that had destroyed the reputation of his family, and broken and embittered the heart of his daughter.
One of the most IMPORTANT steps to getting out of cycles that make you feel like your life is on hold, that you keep running into the same problems in different people? Ask the Most High for the access point. Where and how and when did this sin enter your life, your bloodline. Go to the Most High and don’t be shy to ask questions. Because whether He delivers the information to you supernaturally (that was no chance meeting with Pastor John that Tuesday, that meeting had been ordained by Yahuah from before the foundations of the world) or in a dream or has you go to a family member to ask about a few things? He will let you know. He’s a good Abba, and wants you to be free. Sin separates us from Him, and in our case? We’d been cursed by witches who’d had a clearer understanding of spiritual things than our own spiritual advisors in the church! They’d known to go after the children. They’d known to attack legacy. They’d stunted the growth of the church and the ability of Yahuah to reach the next generation that would bear His name and His Word. Sin will hold you back, my friend.
And it’s why I’m now going to show you the tools the Most High has given to us so that His Almighty power may invade our lives and break us free from sin’s curse.
THE SOUND OF SILENCE: HERE'S HOW YOU SHOULD PRAY IF YOU FEEL IGNORED BY GOD
So now we’re into the meat of this whole topic of discussion: how to actually hear from Yahuah when you feel abandoned by Him. First off? I want to differentiate between a season of repentance and those simply in need of a repentance prayer. This is going to focus more on a season of repentance because that’s what I’m being led to talk about, meaning that you’re being called to fast, pray, and repent for like 2 weeks or something, not a one time thing. A one time thing is more like, Yahuah said he didn’t like how you lied on that girl because you were jealous of her, so you pull over into a parking lot and you just ask the Most High to forgive you and heed his instructions on what to do next— like He may call you to tell the girl you lied on her and ask for her forgiveness, etc. A season though? Waaaayyy more intense. It looks like this:
Praise & Worship: This can sometimes blend into Step 2 because well… sometimes I just go straight into repentance and other times… this is what I mean by when it depends on whether you’re in a season of repentance or are simply repenting in the moment. In moments where I’m made aware that I’ve committed a sin? I might go straight to Step 2 like, “Oh my goodness, forgive me, Father, for xyz…” that sort of thing. In seasssonnnsss of repentance, I have clear recollection of putting this step first because it is how we enter the courts of heaven. Which is going to take a whole discussion if you are not aware that there are courts in heaven. (Remember in the How to Study the Bible series where I declared the Bible is a legal text? Yeah, we revisit that here.)
Supporting Scriptures: Psalm 100:4, Acts 16:25-40, Jeremiah 17:14, Psalm 116, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Repentance: Humble yourself, get on your face, prostrate yourself before the Most High Yahuah, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything that you have done that is sin that is separating you from God. You do this while also fasting, which is a critical aspect of repentance. Fast and pray. Ask the Spirit to reveal to you things you need to repent for, understanding that when you ask the Most High for forgiveness for these things, you are also declaring that you will no longer participate in committing these sins.
Supporting Scriptures: Isaiah 58:6-12, 2 Chronicles 7:14; 14-15; 29-31, Nehemiah 1-2, Daniel 9, Psalm 107, Matthew 6:1-18
Breaking of Covenants & Agreements: Once you have positioned yourself as a righteous child of the Most High, your debt paid by asking the Most High to cover your sin with the redeeming Blood of the Lamb, now it’s time to ask the Most High to break the assignments of the enemy that have been operating in your life. I’m gonna go into a whooollleeee separate article on this portion because not only do I have testimony of the yoke breaking power of prayer in this category, but because this is a part of my ministry. I’m seasoned in this, and the Most High has revealed soooo much to me about this portion of repentance. There can be covenants operating in your life, much like they were operating in the lives of the youth in Hope Missionary Apostolic Church of Christ Our Lord Jehovah Almighty God, without our knowledge. These contracts are the things that can have access to hinder, destroy, and steal giftings and callings not only because of the sin you were committing, but maybe an agreement your grandfather went into. I’m so serious. You want true freedom from sin and intimacy with the Most High? This is the next CRUCIAL step, and it’s one many believers don’t go into after they’ve repented because they don’t read their bibles to know that they have positioned perrrffeeccttllyyy to ask God about these things once they’ve been forgiven of sin. And then, they don’t know how to ask either.
Supporting Scriptures: Deuteronomy 28, Psalm 103:2-5, Philippians 4:6-7, James 5:13-16
Declaring Authority: This is the part that I love. This is the part where you are walking in the fullness of what Yahusha promised, this is the greater works portion of repentance prayer— you telling the demonic agents that they got to go.
Supporting Scriptures: 1 Samuel 17:33-37; 45-51, 2 Chronicles 32; Mark 9:17-19
Gratitude to the Most High: This is entering into His rest. This is another one of my favorite parts of repentance because you feel the peace of the Holy Spirit come upon you. This is when you know the Most High has heard your plea and is going to work. You feel it. There’s no other way that I can explain it. He gives you that peace to know that He has accepted your cry and you are forgiven.
Supporting Scriptures: Exodus 15:1-21, 1 Samuel 2:1-21, Esther 9, Psalms 135… and just read the entire Book of Psalms 😂
It’s a simple process, but one that takes commitment and dedication to well… repairing the breach in your heart, which takes us back to Isaiah 58. Because that’s what the Most High wants, He desires for you to get your heart right so that you can operate in the fullness of your calling, so that others may know Him through you. If your heart is full of wicked desires and sin? Well, you may just have the end of Hope Missionary Apostolic Church of Christ Our Lord Jehovah Almighty God that nobody wants. 😞
GOD DOESN'T PLAY WITH OUR FEELINGS— HE WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU, BUT YOU MAY HAVE DESIRES THAT AREN'T ALIGNED WITH HIS HEART THAT ARE GETTING IN THE WAY
This breaks my heart to finish this testimony but… you need to be warned of what can happen when you ignore a call to a season of repentance. It doesn’t just affect you, it can affect generations, just like it did in Pastor John’s case.
See, what Pastor John and Co didn’t understand was that they had hit that moment where the Most High was calling them to fasting and repentance prayer. How do I know this? Well, come to find out, Tuesday night was the night that the leaders in the church came together to pray in a little back room office in the church… and we were right on time to join them. Invited, the Holy Spirit began to take over, and unfortunately, the prayer group was more amazed that we had come back after 20 years instead of noticing all of the revelations that were being revealed during the session. The Pastor’s wife, who we’ll simply call the First Lady, began rejoicing and talking about restoration, which is FINE. This is natural! I would be excited too, thinking that two former members of the youth group returning meant that the Lord has seen my barrenness and was coming to restore what was lost! In another situation, this could’ve been the case. However, it was how they proceeded to respond that showed my cousin and I that it wasn’t.
Because Pastor John and First Lady’s daughter, who I’ll call Jillian from here on out, was still living in the house that had been built for the youth ministry on the funds raised by members of the church. The youth ministry, I cannot stress enough, had been huge because there were a bunch of us kids and we enjoyed hanging out with one another. We were the children of the Baby Boomers, and there were soooo many of them in the church that even if they had one or two kids, that’s a LOT of kids! (Just trying to draw a picture of the scale of the church.) So! There had been this plan to purchase a house in the area dedicated to hosting the off campus youth events, since they were usually held at the youth pastors’ house which couldn’t… exactly hold us all. This was a great idea… but, all of a sudden, once the house was paid for, with its many rooms and pool… the assistant pastor, Pastor John’s son-in-law, and his wife, Pastor John’s daughter, moved into the house. Jillian and her husband moved into the house. The assistant pastor and his wife. Are you following this nonsense?
Members would have even understood if the assistant pastor’s brother and his wife had moved in because, well… they were the youth leaders! The church hadn’t signed on to buying a house for Jillian and her husband. And with no formal apology, no moving out? Even no repentant heart towards God for taking advantage of His people? Go figure that adultery would sneak in and tear up Jillian’s marriage down the road. Her husband would step down from being assistant pastor, many would leave the church.
There was no sense of urgency to seek the Most High for what to do about the revelation that witches had cursed the next generation in the church, cursed marriages and wombs. How do I know this? Well, the First Lady would begin to become offended by the new thing the Most High was attempting to initiate in the hearts of the church membership shortly after we returned. There would have to be repentance and there would have to be an adaptability to receive the new wine in a new wineskin. The old wineskin wouldn’t be able to properly receive a generation that may return with tattoos, may be repenting for undergoing gender reassignment surgeries, may have dealt with living a homosexual lifestyle or having those urges. These are things that the current generation is battling that we (and when I mean we, I mean my cousin and I’s generation) weren’t dealing with as kids on such a MASSIVE scale. We just weren’t! And there was a negligent spirit that was operating in the church. They were much more focused on tithing and keeping the lights on in the building or the numbers that had dwindled than they were on repairing the breaches that they had missed.
Pastor John was sad that he had had to come out of retirement, he wasn’t dwelling on whether or not the Most High required some action before he and his family could be trusted with his flock again. It was Pastor John’s family that hadn’t protected the flock when the witches had asked to enter, hadn’t protected the flock when Jillian and her husband had declared with their actions that they deserved the five bedroom house that had been fundraised by members for a specific purpose that was never actualized, and it was Pastor John’s family who were now allowing anointed ministers to operate outside of their calling simply to empty roles that the Most High may actually have someone in mind to fill if the office wasn’t already occupied. They were more focused on the optics of how things looked for reputation sake and legacy of the family than what it was going to take to heal the hearts of the flock and serve the community. If it was what God wanted at all— had the anointing upon Pastor John’s family to lead the congregation been removed altogether? Were they pulling a Saul?
These are the types of questions that get answered when you enter into a season of repentance prayer. And with that spirit of negligence operating in their lives, they were affecting an entire community of believers by not answering the nudges of the Holy Spirit (as my cousin and I were not the only ones to return to the church during that time and speak revelatory words to the church) to repent, seek the Most High, and pray about how to move forward into the new thing He was doing. They were making decisions on their own, like selling off parcels of their land to corporations to keep the lights on, and their spirits were downcast and sad in the process. It was heartbreaking to witness, to be completely honest.
This five step template to repentance prayer, that I’ve given you above, we’re going to do a deep dive into, because it’s really on the heart of the Most High that His people walk in the fullness of what He has for them in this new season (John 10:10). You’re not going to make it, as we enter into the days of the Tribulation, without being secure in understanding the power of repentance prayer. Of walking righteously in an age where sin is going to abound on a level we’ve never seen before. But I had to warn you with my testimony of being rejected by people who were being oppressed by a stronghold of self-righteousness. Who couldn’t see how the errors in their leadership had affected an entire city. That how when they’d fallen from their post, entire generations of members had been affected. There were liquor stores down the street from the church that had not been there when we were growing up. There had been diners and fast food restaurants, sure, because they wanted to feed us when our services were over. A thriving Christian community had been great for the local economy. But now? The surrounding area looked as distressed and dilapidated as that crater filled parking lot.
The Most High Yahuah just may be calling you, my friend, to be the repairer of the breach in your family, in your house, in your community, in this hour. And if you ignore the call like the members of Hope Missionary Etc did, choosing to restore Jillian’s husband to his position as pastor without seeking the Most High well… they lost the church within five years of it being prophesied that they would should they not take care of business. Their ministry is a mess, and they struggle to present themselves as operating under an anointing that has without a doubt left. Things snuck in through open doors that tore them up and they were not equipped properly to tear them down, especially when operating in rebellion against Yahuah’s plan for their ministry. It left them looking like… frauds, seeking titles and flattery, position over power. And that won’t be you after we finish this series. Not at all.
INTRODUCING THE SPIRIT OF DELILAH: THE SPIRIT OF SELF SABOTAGE & SINFUL DESIRES
Before we move on, it’s this that I want to really drive home, that can be a reason that you’re not hearing from God: pure rebellion.
In the testimony I gave about Pastor John and Co, it’s not that I blame them for not understanding what the witches were really doing that bothers me. There have been plenty of things I had to repent for that came into my bloodline because of my parents, great-grandparents, etc. I mean like covenants with demons and stuff, I’m not kidding. Serious stuff, real witchcraft. I didn’t know about these things until the Holy Spirit told me, and I started asking family members questions and received confirmation that these things were trueeee, the Holy Spirit hadn’t lied to meeeee. When my cousin and I showed up, 50 years later, this was Pastor John’s revelatory moment. Unlike my cousin and I, who fell on our faces when we discovered things operating in our bloodline? Pastor John did… nothing. It was shortly into this doing nothing that my cousin and I noticed the oppressive force operating in the church.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33 KJV
There are certain spirits that will keep you focused on self instead of on the Most High. These spirits do this so that the Light of Christ that we carry within us is dimmed, dull, and doesn’t shine brightly enough to draw others to Him. There’s one particular spirit, however, that will do this in such a way that you… self destruct. That you bring about your own downfall. And that, my friend, is the spirit of Delilah.
Now I know that there’s a lot of stuff out on the spirit of Jezebel. She’s realllll popular, especially since this is a spirit that comes after the prophets of Yahuah and aims to usurp entire nations to bow to idolatry. We’re seeing this a LOT around the world so, there’s gotta be some good teaching on that spirit… but the spirit of Delilah is just as sinister. This spirit entices the men and women of God to focus on their own fleshly desires, will surround them with their enemies, and position their enemies with the intel necessary to take the anointed children of Yahuah down. It’s one thing for a spirit to hunt you down (Jezebel), but it’s another when you realize you welcomed the demon in and you gave away the tools to bring about your own downfall (Delilah). Fighting this spirit usually means you’ve gotta attack the pride that has taken root in someone’s heart. It’s a double whammy. And in my personal experience, having had to perform a self-deliverance session to root out the spirit of pride operating in my life? That one MOST DEFINITELY takes fasting and prayer.
What's to Come: A Step-by-Step Guide Through Repentance Prayer
In this series, we’re going to be attacking the appetite you have for sin so that you can repent and be done with what’s hindering you from intimacy with the Most High Yahuah. That’s it. That’s the plan. Yah doesn’t hate you, you probably just got some stuff you’re dealing with that’s made it seem like He’s quiet. And we’re about to break the yoke of these burdens off of you so that you can operate in truth and power and have victory in the trying times ahead.
No one taught me how to do this. I had to go to the Holy Spirit and He taught me through the Word of the Most High and just hours upon hours upon hours of prayer and intercession over the course of the last six years. I live and breathe this. And so I hope that what I’ve learned will help accelerate your process of understanding the tools that the Most High has provided for us in His Word to overcome the darkness constantly attacking our relationship with Him.
Next time? We’re going into praise and worship. We’re hitting that one first and I believe it’s going to bring healing to many who read the article because praise and worship is the one aspect of repentance that I think is overlooked the most. And I believe it’s because of the spirit of Delilah that I mentioned. But of course… we’ll dive deeper into that when we get there.
Until then, much love, my friend! 🫶🏾
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