How to Stop Sleeping with Your Ex (for Christians)
You Can’t Cheat on God Like You Cheat on People and Expect to Get Away With It
When God gave me the title for this article, I bust out laughing. 😂 I mean, I almost had tears in my eyes because I knew where He was going with this? But it just… it wasn’t the “typical” Christian post title that I’d seen on the internet. It didn’t sound like, “How to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman” or “21 Modest Church Outfit Ideas.” AND DON’T GET ME WRONG, THOSE ARE GREAT! They have their place, I understand it’s hard out here for this generation not to get swept up into looking like the world, so having examples of how the Most High calls us women and girls to walk is really good and edifying for the Body… but. 🤭 Butttttt… this title reminded me of Buzzfeed quizzes like, “Which Sex and the City Cast Member are YOU?” 🤣
ANYWAYS! Now that I’ve got your attention. 🙃 This post, honestly? It’s a long time coming. I had a dream, you see (cue MLK Jr.) and in the dream, the Most High was revealing to me the state of a particular portion of the church. You could say it wasn’t the church of Philadelphia, that’s for sure (Revelation 3:7-13). They were Samsons. I was surrounded, in the dream, by a bunch of Samsons. And they were all sitting in chairs and I was in the midst of them, and I was ministering to them when we had to stop because this horde of demons began mocking us from across the room. And in this dream the Samsons are sitting there and I’m pissed, because these Samsons were hanging on every word. They’d been listening (which is really hard for Samson, if you know his story.) So I spoke or something and then the earth beneath these demons just broke wide open, kinda like that scene from The Ten Commandments when Moses was like, all y’all with the Most High stand over here and everyone else can get it. 👀 It was like that, and the earth cracked open and these demons were SCREAAMMINNNGG as they looked at me in terror… but the Spirit of the Lord was on me and had done this, and they were falling into a fiery abyss, and the Samsons were standing up and breaking these chains that they’d had on their hands and feet.
And that was the dream.
I’ve sat with this dream for a few years because for me, it was wonderful. I didn’t know how I related to it though, to be honest, because I saw a bunch of men… and I’m not really called to men. Not like ministering to men, no. I don’t believe in women being above men and preaching to them and all that, you check out the Word for yourself here… but that’s not what Yahuah was asking of me. And as I continued my walk, when we would revisit this dream… I no longer saw these Samsons (there were at least 40 of them, for sure) as men… but as how they looked spiritually to The Most High. This was their heart posture, they were spiritual Samsons. And it took me a long time to realize, I had once been one of them.
This series, this series right here is titled The Marriage Contract, because that’s what The Most High gave to me to call it. And in this series, I’m going to be speaking life over the spiritual Samsons led to this post, as well as giving you insight into what’s really separating you from The Most High and limiting your ultimate calling in the Body of Christ.
Let’s go.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
The End Time Church Has a Lust Problem That Wants Us to Die Slow
We're Not Called to Lie to People By Living Lives Like Hell Isn't Hot and Isn't Real
The Bible and What It Has to Say About How You Choose to Live Your Life Is Still Relevant Today
Laying Down Your Life for Christ Isn't Easy, But It's Worth It
There's No Other Way to Please God Than to Obey His Word, Period
The End Time Church Has a Lust Problem That Wants Us to Die Slow
We’re gonna talk about bondage first, because a bondage of the mind was what was limiting Samson from being all he could be until he actually was bound physically by his enemies. He had lack of vision because his mind and his heart were tied up by his desires for what wasn’t for him. And in this case, it was the world and what it had to offer him. To apply that to our physical situations today, it’s like being bound by an ex— you’re saying out of your mouth that you want to walk with Christ, that you’re a Believer, but you keep looking at the world that you denounced and said you left behind. When you didn’t. You’re spiritually cheating and probably willing to be with said ex if they’ll have you back. And of course he will because he hates you, wants you to die, is willing to kill you, and will sleep with you until he can do just that.
Pining over your ex is a death trap. Literally. Not only are the wages of sin death (Romans 6:23) but other things die in your life when you keep chasing after a toxic ex (the ex being your old life, actual lovers, you get the deal) who’s really kinda out to get you. These exes humiliate you when they have the chance, remind you that you’re not their preference— and metaphorically, this can look like trying to tempt you into dressing provocatively because it’s “liberating” for women, trying to get you to embrace your “divine femininity” or ultimately trying to get you to embrace spiritual wickedness and darkness by selling you sin that’s “not that bad” or they claim Christ would approve of because the church is just too conservative and the Bible really didn’t mean what it has to say. There are things in our lives that, once we give ourselves to the Messiah as His Bride, we’ve gotta be done with. Because the Bible doesn’t play, period. Point blank.
Every word, every lesson in Bible, is there for a reason. It does apply to today, it does mean that you can’t sleep around outside of marriage, it does speak against homosexuality, it does say that you will be persecuted for standing up for these truths in the Last Days. This is real, the way the devil will use people, places, and things to deceive us into thinking that committing a particular sin in our life or being rebellious isn’t the worst thing we can do in our relationship with God Almighty. Because it is, it’s spiritual adultery that you see Him going off about throughout the entire Good Book with the Israelites. You see Him bring a flood just to wipe out spiritual adulterers pre-Abraham. So these things that would tempt us back into the lifestyle He’s actively asking us to step away from with Him? That He’s leading us away from because they’re toxic and ultimately will lead to our demise? Yeah, Christ is the good guy in this scenario and your toxic ex is trying to portray Him as a restrictive, controlling lover boy who doesn’t want you to be happy. And that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
So why do so many spiritual Samsons believe this lie anyway? We know Yahusha HaMashiach is the Way, the Truth, and the LIFE, but we allow our itching ears to hear what they wanna hear and look at him like he’s an abusive boyfriend instead of a loving and devoted husbandman. Walking away from the world and its witchcraft and its lie is soooo harddd for spiritual Samsons. And for Part I of this series, we’re going to dig into why.
WE'RE NOT CALLED TO LIE TO PEOPLE BY LIVING LIVES LIKE HELL ISN'T HOT AND ISN'T REAL
So here’s our founding scripture for this series:
2 “Son of man, speak to your people and say to them: ‘When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman,
3 and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people,
4 then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not heed the warning and the sword comes and takes their life, their blood will be on their own head.
5 Since they heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, their blood will be on their own head. If they had heeded the warning, they would have saved themselves.
6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.’
Ezekiel 33:2-6 NIV
This is the point. This is the whole point of the entire series: that I can see what’s coming for you if you don’t run for your life away from all the temptations in this world that the Most High has asked you repeatedly to let go of so that you can follow Him in obedience. It’s death. And not just spiritual death, but in these times? In these Last Days? HaSatan is out here on a misssiiionnn and he’s sniping warriors of Christ left and right over petty, avoidable things, really. Chasing Delilah is the last thing you wanna be doing right now, but a lot of you don’t recognize your particular temptations as your Delilah. So let’s address.
If you read my starter series How to Study the Bible (Parts I-III), then you already know that I lean more towards a study method where we pick a topic and then allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through said topic, revealing hidden mysteries along the way. With this bible study, our topic is bondage, our founding scripture is Ezekiel 33:2-6, and now we’re gonna dig into how the word bondage applies to our situation in conjunction with said scripture. Let’s do this.
The word bondage means, “the state of one who is bound as a slave or serf” [1]. I don’t know about you, but I had to look up the word serf because that’s not an active part of my vocabulary. 😅 So serf, according to the New Oxford American Dictionary, means, “an agricultural laborer bound under the feudal system to work their lord’s estate.” Now if you remember in Understanding the Bible on a Deeper Level where we talked about Christ speaking to an agricultural community, we can start connecting the dots right from the get that this is going to deal with sowing and reaping. Right from the get. It goes back to the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13) and you can see that spiritually, with our biblical knowledge at hand, we can take serf and start thinking that this is someone who is planting seeds, sowing and reaping, for their lord— and their lord is either going to be THE Lord, the Most High Elohim OR the god of this world. HaSatan. The accuser. That worm thing (2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV, Isaiah 14:10-19).
Now through Paul we get the revelation that we are slaves in Christ when we lay down our lives and commit ourselves to obeying His will (Romans 6:15-19 ESV). Here, this definition tells us that what the slave of bondage is called to do is work the land of their master. We know that Yahusha referenced the soil of our heart as land in the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13), and sooooo we can kinda connect the dots and say that whether bound to Christ or HaSatan, you are sowing seeds and watering seeds in the hearts of men. Because remember: Yahusha said that the harvest was plenty but the workers were few (Matthew 9:37-38). If hell is enlarging itself daily (Isaiah 5:14-16) we know that the world has plenty of slaves doing the work for HaSatan. It’s the Most High who is looking for Samsons to turn from their wicked ways and till His land, water seeds planted in the hearts of Believers.
So where are all these Samsons?
CHRIST IS COMING BACK FOR A BRIDE THAT HAS DENIED THE FLESH REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH TEMPTATION TRIED US
We’re in the Last Days, my friend. And when I was meditating on that one day, I was sitting with Christ and I was asking the Most High about what’s that even supposed to mean. Because there in my Bible, I couldn’t stop reading Matthew 24, for one, where the Messiah breaks down the order of events in the Last Days leading up to the Tribulation and His second coming. But I also kept rehearsing these two scriptures in my mind:
5 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans.
6 Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel.
7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’
8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.
9 “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts—
10 no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep.
11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave.
12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting.
13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.
14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.
15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.
Matthew 10:5-15 NIV
And:
As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
Matthew 24:37 NIV
So first, we had the instructions to the apostles, basically what to do until He comes back, and then, we have what it will look like right before He comes back. I kept replaying these over and over in my mind until I just point blank asked the Lord, “Well, what did it look like in Noah’s time?”
Interestingly enough, He didn’t immediately take me to the Book of Enoch. If you’ve read it, you know that it has a VIVIDDD depiction of what was going on right before the flood. 😱 It’s deep. But! No, He actually took me to the Book of Judgessss. And over the course of a few days, I read it and internally screamed and threw myself on my bed and did all the things that someone does when they’re completely overwhelmed with what they’re reading!
See, I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up in non-denominational, baptist, and pentecostal churches well… we really read from the New Testament a lot. It was fire and brimstone or else it was the love of Christ. There was rareeellyyy any in-between until a prophet of Yah came into town and there was what we call Revival going down. If you know, you know. So the Old Testament didn’t really become my thing until after repentance, when the Holy Spirit started showing my cousin and I where He was in the Word of Yah and well, I became obsessed with the Book of Genesis and reading about the prophets. What’s written in the middle of the book. All those juicy details of not only the coming of Christ, but the Last Days. Obadiah, Joel, Micah, yeah. It’s all in there.
But before I got to the prophets, He took me to the Book of Judges. Because there’s this phrase that’s constantly repeated through the entire book: “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” (Judges 17:6; 21:25 ESV). The stories that follow are absolutely horrifying, because you realize that what is right to a select few can be some of the most heinous acts you’ve ever seen a person do to another and justify it as a good deed. I mean it.
Now, I bring this up because you should read the book. The only story that I knew, at the time, within the book was the story of Gideon (which I didn’t know as well as I thought I did), and then the story of Samson. Samson was like, to me, the tamest story of them all because one, I’d been raised on his story and like David and Goliath, Joseph and his brothers, Daniel and the Lion’s Den, you know… how we make it cutesy cutesy for children to digest when going through Vacation Bible School and things like that. But reading it again, after having lived a little life well… it definitely hit a little different because I now, having started from the beginning of the Book of Judges and not the middle where Samson’s story is, I had a lot more context of the spiritual and political climate of the time when his Delilah affair was happening. And it changed my understanding of everything.
The Levites were compromised (I implore you, go and read the full thing for yourself, I meannn it 😭), you had Israel utterly SURROUNDED by their enemies, barely allowing them to eat or grow food for themselves (it’s giving Jim Crow, but I digress), you had this love as thou wilt doctrine just permeating in the hearts of people… and then you had the Nazarites. And because we don’t take time (as a collective whole) in the protestant churches to read the Old Testament, like me, you probably don’t even know what a Nazarite is. I had one introduction to them, through Corey Russell’s Nasharite Dream, because I used to listen to the Ask of Me album over and over and over again while the Lord was planting seeds in my heart to return to Him back in 2012-2013. I had an introduction through a dream and a prayer. That’s. It. Even with the Bible right in front of me, I wouldn’t read it. I’d listen to preachers, but I wasn’t like… deep diving into the Word without them guiding me through it. I didn’t trust that I could have revelation and understanding asking the Most High to guide me through it. I played small, because I believed it was my portion. And I was comfortable with that, even if deep down, I wanted and desired more.
And that, my friends, is at the root of Samson’s problem. Even though he was a Nasharite, dedicated to the Most High through a precious vow (Numbers 6:1-21), he didn’t have the Word ROOTED in his heart. He was only the Most High’s by confession, but not in lifestyle. So when the world came along with something shiny and new, he could be led away from his vow because he hadn’t sharpened himself enough with the word to know how to deny his flesh and turn away from his worldly desires. His eyes went here, he went there. There was no restraint, no restriction, and no matter what his parents said to him about remembering his vow? Yeah, he did what he wanted to do anyway and deemed it right. I was in this cycle too. Back in 2012, there were things I was still allowing because they were comfortable. I was a people pleaser, co-dependent on friendships that were toxic as all get out, and I didn’t see a way out because I didn’t trust that I was worth being set free (much like Gideon.) Judges is like… it’s such a window into the souls of the kinds of men we’re going to be coming across in the Last Days in large quantities. I mean it. And when you read Samson, I’m telling you, you can probably see a version of the old you or even the you that you are now reading this. The you that can so easily be compromised by your “ex.”
THE BIBLE AND WHAT IT HAS TO SAY ABOUT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY
Besides not keeping the Word as the most important aspect of his life, Samson didn’t go to the Most High not ONE TIME when he was making his dastardly decisions, I mean… 😂 NOT ONE TIME! He didn’t ask Him if this girl was the right one for him, didn’t talk to him about even entertaining Philistines, who as we know were like sworn enemies of the Israelites. He didn’t involve Him or the Messiah (being the scriptures in their period) in any of his lifestyle choices. He did what he wanted, when he wanted, while keeping the appearance of someone who was walking with our Elohim. Sound familiar?
When it comes to seducing your ex, you know how to do that. You know the language of the world, you know what the world rewards. You also know what it wants. You know if the world wants you to whore yourself out on social media for likes and clicks, you know if you’re going to make more money promoting that sinful product than the one that actually aligns with your “brand.” You know if you’re promoting a product because it’ll actually help your audience or because you need the money. And you also know that when it comes to being on social media, if what you’re talking about or even taking pictures of or video of is leading people closer to or further away from the Most High.
Now I used influencers as an example because most of us (especially those reading this) can relate to being in a position where you’re being propositioned to sell your time and your creativity for money. You promote this, we give you $$$. But when you apply it to how our heart postures are gonna be in the last days… it’s kinda the same thing. Your compromise on this, we give you social acceptance. You compromise on this, you’ll get your viral minute of fame. You compromise on this? Oh honey, we’ll give you all of that and then on top of that, you’ll be invited into these rooms to be able to mingle with these people who everyone worships so will worship you by association. All of this tracks for how easily we can be seduced by our ex, the world.
And in the Last Days? This sort of seduction, this compromise, is going to be on steroids.
If we are not keeping in constant communication with our new husband, Christ the Messiah, we can easily be deceived and deluded into getting into business deals, conversations, friendships and fellowships that are none of our business. Samson shouldn’t have even been entertaining having a Philistine wife but he’d never divorced himself from the desire of that kind of lustful, adulterous woman. He never cut ties with the attraction to what that kind of woman is willing to do in the bed. You can be attracted to a kind of guy who humiliates you in public because he brings you a sort of… how do I say this… he brings you a sort of social status you don’t want to let go of. Or you can be attracted to a guy who cheats on you but because you idolize him and are obsessed with him, you forgive him and let him stay and he continues to walk over your low self esteem, desperate self. These kinds of guys?? Like the guy who will FOREVER lie to you and disrespect you? We have those kinds of Delilahs operating in our lives in other ways than our relationships. These are the jobs that the Most High is asking us to walk away from (that we HATE anyway 😤) so that we can step out on faith and start the business He’s planted in our hearts? That we don’t leave because of that paycheck giving us a sense of security… when, well, He might be trying to shelter us from massive layoffs we can’t see coming in six months. THINGS LIKE THIS are happening every day in the lives of His people. We are spiritual Samsons walking around like we’re okay when the things that we love and have an appetite for are laying traps for us in front of our faces. These deceptions are literally playing in our face. And asking us how to take us down boldly.
LAYING DOWN YOUR LIFE FOR CHRIST ISN'T EASY, BUT IT'S WORTH IT
Now when it comes to killing that appetite, there’s nothing more potent than abiding in the Word of Yah and really submitting ourselves to a season of repentance for even being attracted to the thing. This season includes not just asking for forgiveness, but really working that muscle of restraint and discipline to keep away from it. Your Delilah might look like (and I’m about to give a bunch of examples here) pretending like the Bible doesn’t mean what it says about two women not being a thing. Or two men. (Romans 1:24-27). I mean, you can say what you want about it being an Old Testament law all day but in Romans 1… it’s in your face, honey. 👀 He discusses this over and over again, quit playing in God’s face. 🙄 We can also go into the example of being wearing the short shorts that show a little bit too much of your behind when you sit down because all the girls or women your age wear them. That the belly tanks and the short shorts together isn’t so bad because it’s hot, when God calls us to modesty as women (1 Timothy 2:9-10). This includes in the gym. Literally, it doesn’t matter if you can pull the look off. That’s not the point. The point is, everyone is doing it, so what sets you apart? What makes men and women look at you and see that not only are you a self respecting person, but what’s different about you that you aren’t wearing the belly waist beads or having poked 15 thousand holes in your face or aren’t out here wearing swimsuits during hot girl summers that make people think is that a thong or just a piece of string between your cheeks? It’s great to have a great body, we’re supposed to take care of our temples (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV), but that scripture also means that by taking care of our bodies, we’re not out here soliciting for whores what is meant for you, your spouse, and the Lord Almighty.
That’s. Hard. When you have been conditioned by the world to feed its appetites, it’s hard to be set apart. You may be dealing with the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh and the pride of life, and that’s gonna be your downfall if you don’t get it in check. Samson did not deal with the lust of the eyes, and furthermore, he kept putting himself in positions where these temptations were right in front of him. So lemme ask you: why are you still scrolling down the apps that keep tempting you into sins you say you no longer wanna commit? It’s like stalking the social media page of your ex even when you swore it was over for the last time. Why are you entertaining what the clothes that show too much skin would look like on your body? Or borrowing that skin tight dress from your friend that shows off the curve of your breasts and every dimple in your booty? WHY? Why keep saying, “well, just one drink” when you know you don’t have the discipline to stop at one glass of wine and will down thirty? These are the things that we have to ask ourselves. Just because you only have one life to live doesn’t mean you throw discretion to the wind and do what you want and ask for forgiveness later, that’s playing in the Most High’s face.
Samson lost the plot of his vow all the way up until the very end when he was chained and bound and didn’t like it. They’d got him, revealed all the key players in getting him to give up his own life to them, and were clowning on him, throwing it in his face how much of a fool he’d been. And when he repented? He meant it, but the wages of sin were still death, he still has to suffer some consequences for his actions. He literally died taking down the enemy that he’d just days ago been sleeping with. It cost him his YOUNG life. Like, he didn’t live long, he didn’t get to be buried at an old age with his fathers like Abraham or King David. No, think of what could have been if he’d left that girl well enough alone and actually held to his vow. If you wanna know what that would’ve looked like? Samuel? The prophet 1 and 2 Samuel are about? He was ALSO a Nazarite. And look at how the Most High honored him in his life!
One of the lies, and the most prominent one, our worldly exes try to convince us into believing is that the Most High is trying to stop us from being happy, from living fulfilling, love filled lives. There is no love lost between Delilah and Samson when she cuts his hair, cutting him down in the process, and delivers him to her people. Her. People. When we are not of the world but have a calling on our lives, a vow we’ve made to the Most High? Honey, most times the people around us see it. No matter how much we wanna act like them and live the way we do, they know we’re not like them. And ESPECIALLY if you are a descendant of Jacob, if you are one of the Israelites living today? Oh, there’s no escaping the fact that people are looking at you, people of other nations, knowing darn well they hate you and despise you, and are ready to take you down.
But that… we’re gonna get into (very briefly) who the Israelites are today in another article. For now, consider what I’m really saying.
You need to kill that appetite for the world and its ways before it takes you out. Period. That may involve fasting and praying. There may be some things that you’re attracted to that have such a stronghold, such a deep root, that it’s going to take the hand of the Most High to grab that thing and wrangle it out of you. I mean it. There were certain things that I had to let go of that were really hard for me. And most of the time, they were people. Walking away from people who asked me to compromise over and over again on doing what the Lord asked me to do to hang out with them instead? I had to ghost them. Plenty of people just never heard from me again and I was like an addict going through the sweats with some of them. Because it was painful. And it exposed that I had placed them in a place in my heart that the Most High wanted to occupy with something better, whether it was Him or a new relationship that wouldn’t lead me down paths that didn’t include Him. This is the truth. And once you identify your ex, you have to crucify you.
There's No Other Way to Please God Than to Obey His Word, Period
The Most High told us what it is, my friend. He told us in Matthew 24 what this thing was gonna look like in the Last Days and if you have eyes to see and ears to hear, see and listen. Listen to Him using me and others around you to warn you of the potential pitfalls that are COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY AVOIDABLE so that you may live. So that you may experience in the here and now, and not just when you get to heaven or whatever, the abundant life that we are promised the Yahusha HaMashiach (Mark 10:29-30). I don’t know about you, but that’s what I’m focused on. I wanna receive that, I wanna see that, and I actually (go figure 😂) enjoy the company of Christ Jesus! I don’t hardly wanna talk about anything else with people but my Most High Yah! 🥰 I get borrredddd with anything else, seriously. But this, getting to that point? That took denying my flesh and building up an appetite for my husbandman. It took forsaking the world in my heart and truly realizing that I’d been one of those people who had once called evil good and good evil. Because when you prefer the ways of this world > the Way of the Most High? I’m here to tell you, that’s exactly what you’re doing. 😐
Now, this was Part I. There’s gonna be a Part II and in Part II wellllll… we’re going to start to ease into what I call The Ezekiel Project. It’s going to be a lengthy project, because we’re kinda gonna be going through the whole book to discuss some things pertaining to the Last Days. Things like the identity of one of the Lost Tribes of Israel, things that are happening between the protestant and Catholic Churches, things like that. But before we can get to that, I’ve gotta clear up one more thing about this Samson issue we’re dealing with. And this thing is specifically for those caught up being the Faithful. This is… it’s dealing with something so very sinister that has been peddled by catholicism that… I just couldn’t let it go when I caught onto it. And you probably won’t be able to either.
Until then, my dear, dear friend, much love. 🫶🏾
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REFERENCES
“Bondage, N. (1).” Wordnik, The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition, https://www.wordnik.com/words/bondage. Accessed 2 June 2024.